


closer than close

by Julx3tte



Series: hidden beneath the kissing folds and lily pads [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU - Middle Aged, F/M, Singer!Lily and RetiredSoccerPlayerTurnedCEO!James, Very very slice of life, trading places
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 16:03:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13461672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julx3tte/pseuds/Julx3tte
Summary: In Autumn, after Fleamont's passing and Harry off to college, James and Lily make sense of the newfound space they have.In which they do domestic things and spend time with each other.





	closer than close

**Author's Note:**

> This has been really hard to write, and at this point I'm calling it quits/releasing it into the world even though I'm not fully satisfied.
> 
> Part because I’m so used to reading and writing characters in their 20s, that thinking of middle aged characters and how people grow through those decades... challenges me to see them as imperfect but having had time to learn lessons. 
> 
> I have to throw away my assumptions of what life is like at that age and write what I hope I have, what I hope others around me have by then. 
> 
> Another is that I lose sight of what makes James and Lily them by imagining them in this way (and in an AU!), but I hope what does read is how they’ve changed from their 20s and how they’re in a season of falling in love even deeper. 
> 
> So say some nice things and forgive my mess.

“So, anyway, I was hoping she could stay with us for part of the summer. Of course it all depends on whether she makes it-- er, to the national team, and what her family’s plans are, but even a weekend.” Harry’s voice boomed over the speakers in the car, and Lily gave James a look. 

“Son, hold on one minute. You haven’t even told us how you met yet,” James said.

“I- oh. We met at church, kind of. She’s roommates with Hermione. Anyway I gotta go, the girls are coming over for some board games and we gotta get ready. Call you again soon!” The bluetooth buzzed, signaling the end of a call, and automatically started playing music again.

“Huh,” James said to the road. Lily gave him a pat on the shoulder, letting the silence fill them again.

Before Harry called, James had put on an old hymn he’d used to sing with his mother, a serene and peaceful piece that made him feel like he was sixteen, confessing to his mother how much he liked Lily.

It was apt, that that song should play as Harry broke the news about his girlfriend, but he’d taken to letting it play on the short drive to Euphie’s since the summer. Despite being a parent now himself, he liked having that feeling of his mother giving him a hug and asking him, “so what are you waiting for? Go after her!”

They sat in the car quietly during the rest of the drive. It was part of their ritual these days. Something had changed after Harry left to college, though they never talked about it. They rather slipped into moments of silence, of taking in each other’s presence uninterrupted. Lily figured that it had to do with coming home together to an empty house that let them stay in rhythm.  

Lily broke the spell as James put the car in park.

“It’s all happening so quickly for him,” she said as she arranged the gift bag they’re brought for Euphie. “To go from the funeral, to packing everything up, to being off in college finally. It only took him a few weeks to meet someone too.”

“A redhead at that,” James offered with a laugh.

“It’s coming so naturally for him.”

“He doesn’t have a baby at the ripe age of 21.” James filled in what Lily had on her mind, and she gave him another _look_ , before leaning her head on his shoulders as they walked.

“I’m proud of him. He sounds… free.”

They held hands as they walked outside - James to the left, wearing a peacoat that was a gift from his mother 15 years ago, the year Harry’d started school, and James walked with him every morning before work.

Underneath his peacoat was a pair of sweatpants, ( _you’re wearing joggers?!_ Harry had questioned) and a scalloped tee almost as long as his coat. He’d been rather experimental with clothing the last few weeks - he browsed through the internet and ordered en masse, trying out new combinations each morning.

This morning after seeing his planned outfit, Lily had questioned what kinds of things James had been looking up; James had responded by changing out of his house-clothes rather _slowly_. 

Lily, in contrast, wore exactly what she wore to the conservatory. Today, it was a  grey dress with padded shoulders, covered by a shawl.

When James had asked why that was necessary, she shrugged and the flat seams at the tips of the dress’ shoulders poked from underneath the shawl. He still didn’t quite understand, except that she preferred, today, to be a transformer of some sort. Instead of putting his arm around her shoulders, he wrapped around her hip and pulled her to him as they walked to lunch at Euphie’s.

 

* * *

 

Later, at the grocery store, James inspected corn cobs absentmindedly while thinking about their lunchtime conversation.

“She said that it was fine now, that she has freedom to try things out again. That she’d been waiting….”

He paused, letting his last memories of Fleamont wash over him again. Of being given a liquor cabinet, some bottles of his father’s favorites and his own, but most importantly a few bottles labeled with dates: Fleamont and Euphemia’s anniversary, James’ birthday, James and Lily’s wedding, and Harry’s birthday. And, of course, the day Fleamont had chosen to be his last in the hospital. 

“... waiting for so long, long enough. I guess they talked about what her life would be like after, and decided that she wouldn’t waste it waiting around for her turn. Even though she’s older. Even now she’s leaving footsteps for us to follow.” He finished his words as Lily tugged corn out of his hands and placed them in the basket.

She didn’t reply until they’d gotten home and begun cooking lunch together. This was part of their new routine too - cooking together for hours, treating each other with multiple courses.

She spoke as she cooked, “you know Harry’s doing the same thing. Since he told us he was staying, he was preparing all the little things. Visiting Hermione sometimes to get a feel for campus, and writing down that list of his, and emotionally too. He took our drive out there together as a blessing that we were freeing him out into the world. Maybe Euphie’s trying to do the same for us.”

She glided around the kitchen, filing pots with spices and vegetables and checking the oven temperature; she briefly brushed up against James, who was working with a knife on the island. They were revisiting a dish Lily had cooked the night she told James she was pregnant, and the kitchen smelled of roast and thyme, of a wine that Lily had opened but not drank from those years ago, and of the courage it took Lily to whisper about her baby.

This time though, she drank from the wine bottle as she spilled some onto a pot, releasing brown _fond_ from the bottom of her pan. This time, she sang a song she’d been teaching students with a confidence she’d hoped to place in them. 

James finished his work and turned to look at Lily. At forty one, her eyes wrinkled when she smiled, and the skin around her cheeks began to show the signs of age. Her vibrant red hair had a few grey strands, though she never lost the air of grace she’d had when they were teenagers.

He walked behind her, took her hands in his once she had finished cooking, and crossed them around her chest. He held her closely, chin on her shoulder until the the beep of the timer urged them to move. 

“I love you,” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

Over dinner, Lily noticed the way James leaned forward when he sat. She saw how he tried to hold back a smile every time he said something, failing harder and harder as they drank wine. Finally, during dessert, she pieced things together.

“You came up with a plan, didn’t you,” she accused, pointing a fork with just a bit of the chocolate cake they’d baked left on it. 

He held his hands up in response, wide grin on his face. “Me, a plan? What is this, college?”

“Spill it,” she said as she stabbed the fork in the air at him. This time she couldn’t hold back a laugh. James was far too charming, especially in her inebriated state, and he was giving her a rare glimpse at their younger days, before the PR classes and media days and building a business and raising a child and watching his father grow sick. _He looks pure,_ she decided.

“Okay, okay. What if we traded places tomorrow? You manage the office, and I’ll teach your classes.” He paused to take another drink of wine with raised eyebrows, waiting for Lily to process his request. Usually he threw out these ridiculous ideas with Harry, who was quick to say yes; here, he had to sell it up a little bit.

To his surprise, Lily broke out in laughter. “Okay, I’m in. Let’s do it. I have two classes tomorrow, one with the high schoolers and one with the Masters students.”

James looked dumbfounded, and he hadn’t expected it to be quite so easy. Wary, he asked “you’re already convinced?”

“You should see yourself in the mirror. You look like you did in college, when you’d send Sirius and Remus to bring me to some date you’d planned and had them watch Harry for a while. You know something.”

Eyes gleaming, James replied, “I think I pieced together something, after this morning with Harry and Euphie. We spent our entire twenties balancing our careers and taking care of Harry. I wouldn’t trade that for the world, but hear me out: now we’re stable and Harry’s on his own, this is the first time it’s just been us since before you got pregnant.”

Lily sat back and thought about it for a moment. She thought about the ways they relied on their own little family in college just to get through, and of how it only got harder when she was practicing late into the night for auditions.

There was something in the way James had said, “just us” that made Lily’s heart flutter. She loved her son dearly, and now she was releasing him out onto the world. She was thankful for the extra few years she got to keep him home, despite the circumstances, but now she felt her own sense of release, of a different kind of motherhood.

Lily reached over the table to hold James’ hand. “You’re telling me to bring back College Lily,” she asked as dramatic as she could, gripping his hands and putting on a shocked expression.

“I’m asking you to guest star at the office,” James winked. “I think everyone could use a break from the usual grind, and they’ve been asking about how you were recently…”

“You want me to prank your office,” Lily said.

“I want them to enjoy your company as much as I did and still do and always will.”

Lily leaned over the table, using her hand to pull James’ chin closer to hers. “You know, there were other ways we took breaks _from the usual grind_ in college,” she said as she gave him a the lightest kiss.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Lily wore one of James’ new shirts; this one had a low neckline, and for a few minutes while she was changing, drew gawks from James despite them having shared a shower moments before.

“Even though we’ve shared a bed together for 20 years, I don’t think I can see enough of you,” he said.

She threw a pair of socks at him and replied, “You’re going to be late.”

“You’re going to make me late.”

 Lily finished dressing with her back turned - a pair of office-ready pants, a blazer, her favorite pair of wedges, and a scarf. Then, she walked right up to James as he was putting his shoes on at the edge of the bed, leaned into his ear, and whispered, “just wait until _after_ work dear.”

 She bit his ear for good measure, before walking out by the door. James hurried to catch up.

 “I still can’t believe you agreed to this,” he said, locking the front door.

 She turned on her heels to look at him before they got in the car. “I love you dear,” she said with a smile.

 

* * *

 

At the office, Lily walked right past the receptionist and into James’ office.

She realized that she hadn’t been in here in years. She had visited quite often after he’d retired from soccer and was still setting up the company, usually in the mornings before practices or shows. It was remarkable to see how it had changed so much and so little.

There were pictures of her and Harry all over,  some from when Harry was still a toddler, or during their college years. But there was one frame she didn’t recognize. It only had a scrap of paper on it, but she recognized his messy scrawl. It read, ‘ _I will marry Lily Evans. - James Potter, 1995._ ’

She realized this must have been a year or so before they’d started dating. She didn’t much like him then, and it took him a few years to mature until she was even willing to be in his presence. Hard to believe that just a few years after that, she’d had him over for dinner to tell him she was pregnant.

Oh how he’d always love her. She grabbed paper from a notebook nearby, tore off the corner, and wrote in neat print, “ _Still smitten about Lily_ **Potter** _\- 2018_.” She trapped the paper underneath the frame and went back to the desk.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile at the Conservatory, James walked into Lily’s studio and into the corner with her desk.

He’d never been behind the desk before, and he suspected that no one else had either. All over were pictures of… him in his old soccer kits, some magazine cutouts and some official photoshoots. One of them was even signed - where did she get that?!

There was another 20 minutes before class, so James quickly ran and locked the door. He set up his phone rather precariously on a music stand, shed his shirt, and sat behind the piano for a picture. Then he printed it out at her desk and slid it right underneath a few frames, signing it “ _still got it._ ”

 

* * *

 

A man in a suit walked into James’ office, saying, “James I’ve brought you th-” before stopping in his tracks when he realized it was Lily sitting at the chair. “Mrs. Potter. Are we in trouble?” he asked. 

“No,” she replied with a laugh. “But I’m going to need someone to tell me what James actually does here so I can get some work done today.”

“You’re already doing it! I’ll send his secretary over in a minute ma’am.”

 

* * *

 

The kids walked in en masse, sitting down in their places. One, realizing it was time to start, said “You’re not Mrs. Potter!”

“I’m the next best thing,” James replied.

“You’re not Harry either!” another kid yelled.

 

* * *

 

As Lily got into the car, she saw James smiling abnormally large. “Fun day at work? She asked.

“The high schoolers called me the third best Potter,” he said. “But the older kids just wanted to hear about my perspective on their pieces. They all sang beautifully.”

He looked at her with admiration - Lily had been the primary mentor for all of her students since the beginning of the summer, and he’d heard from her how much they’d been improving. Now, he saw for himself.

“You’re a wonderful teacher,” he said.

“I met your secretary today,” she replied.

“You know she said two things when I hired her? First was how big of a fan she was of when I played. Second is how beautiful you were.” He was driving now, but he stole a look and met her eyes. Her eyebrows were quirked up.

“She said they didn’t need you to run daily things,” she laughed. “That last summer you’d spent time with everyone and made sure they understood their place and how the belonged.”

“You weren’t supposed to know that yet,” he said, guilty faced. “I started preparing for some space before the summer, thinking it’d all go a little more difficult than it did, so I made sure I was ready to take a leave if I needed to.”

“And now?”

“I’m not sure. I want to do something new. They need you at the conservatory Lily. Maybe I can open another wing there for graduates to work a while, expand your team. I really only know one thing.”

“You love me,” she said for him.

“And if Euphie and dad figured out how to love each other even after he’s passed… I want to grow old with you too. There’s still so much I didn’t know about you. I saw your desk.”

“Oh no,” she groaned. “I didn’t think about that. Can you blame me for showing it off?”

He answered by lifting his shirt hem up a little bit, flexing his core. She reached out to touch it.

“Let’s get home, love.”

**Author's Note:**

> also sorry that the trading places piece was so short but it's been a week and I've come up with nothing so minimalism it is


End file.
